Embracing My History & My Values

Nisa, The New 3Rs Class of 2021

It was never about what I could and couldn’t buy.  It wasn’t about how many pairs of shoes I owned.  It wasn’t about blending in with the rich White kids.  It was about the twinge I got when I realized that I have to be mindful about money though I lived in a nice house. White girls in my class went to the nearby Patisserie, Boulangerie, or some other fancy named place I’d never stepped foot in. I’d tail along just to see what it felt like to be inside one of those stores, hear the twinkle of rich people’s laughter, smell the overpriced and overrated goods. Time slowed for me, but for my White friends this was a one and done. It was habitual. They’d spot whatever they wanted, whipped out daddy’s American Express card, and walk out the door onto to the doorman-lined blocks of Madison Avenue.  

“Why are you taking so long?” would be their first question to me. I’d tell them I was indecisive.  Honestly, I wasn’t hung up over which scone would taste better. I was figuring out which one would be worth the $12 or if it’s worth it at all. A follow up (and unprovoked) response would be “I can get it for you.”  It always felt like a knife in my chest to remind me no matter how educated Black families are the income of Whites is at least $150,000 more than Blacks.  Because of money, White girls far too often think they are better. Black mums have far more education than theirs! It’s because race matters more than intelligence in America.  It has always been about White Privilege or the perception of being better.

I left many stores empty handed, but, my values of who I am are in tack. Money cannot change that!  I know the history of America: Who stole land and inventions and who enslaved and murdered others. Throughout history, this nation has never been kind to me, and I have never hated anyone. A history I wish White girls knew.  That’s okay because I am proud of who I am and my family.  Anyway, I have better food at home.