On Race, Ballet and Being Muslim: We are not less than anyone else
By Leila | Age 12 | New York
Dear fellow Americans, my name is Leila.
I am a Black Muslim girl born and raised in Harlem. Living in Harlem, we do not experience a lot of racism. Harlem is a neighborhood that is diverse. There are mosques, synagogues and churches, and people who take public transportation to work and others who drive Tesla. Most of the people that live in Harlem are Black like me. But my sisters and I attend elite White schools outside of Harlem because in New York City the best schools are in White communities.
My little 7-year-old sister attends one of the most prestigious ballet schools in New York City, the School of American Ballet. She once dreamed to become a ballet dancer like Misty Copeland, until she was racially assaulted in a cafe by students.
We often have dinner at Lincoln Center after my sister’s ballet class. This day there were some college students from Julliard who decided to sit at a table across from us talking about Muslims and how we wear “rags” on our heads, and they pointed at my mother’s head scarf as an example. They kept talking about us the same way White people talked about slaves in the movie about Harriett Tubman. Like Harriett Tubman, my mom held her anger and tears. But, then one kid said: “Black people have big lips and noses and nappy hair”. He was going to pull up a picture of a Black person on Google, but then said, “I don’t need an example.”
“Leaving behind nights of terror and fear, I rise, into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear, I will rise.”
Maya Angelou, “I Will Rise”
They kept staring at us and started giggling. We were the only Black people in the café, so they obviously were talking about us. My mom could not stand what they were saying and politely approached them to address their inappropriate behavior. They responded aggressively and said it was “Freedom of Speech”. My mom immediately took all of our stuff and told the security guards about what happened. They said that they could not do anything about it.
My 7-year-old sister was really traumatized thinking people see her as ugly because of her dark skin and short hair. She told my mom that she was not pretty enough to do ballet because she is not White with long hair. My mom tells her she is beautiful and shows her successful Black women with dark skin. It has not worked, and she is too afraid to return to ballet.
My mother always has told us that we can be whoever we want to be. But, I was blind not to see that racism also exists in New York City. In our home, we have Lupita Nyong’o’s quote, “No matter where you are from, your dreams are valid”. We also have Maya Angelou’s poem “I Will Rise”. My favorite stanza: “Leaving behind nights of terror and fear, I rise, into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear, I will rise.”
My sister is only 7. I’m hoping she will rise because we are Muslim and not White with long hair, we are not less than anyone else.
3 Comments
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Christina Frye says:
This is heartbreaking, no person should ever treat another human being with so much disrespect. How could you so blatantly look another human being in the eyes and hurt them, invalidate them, cause them pain? To do so makes the aggressor a little less human themselves.
Leila please share this with your sister, and take heart in it yourself:
You may not believe me when I say this, but you are beautiful. I am not lying to protect your feelings because that would be an even greater offense. You are beautiful and I have seen it in the way you smile, in the way you laugh, the way you exude passionate energy. So often the white beauty standards of American society alienate all the various gorgeous dark, light, medium, medium-dark, dark-dark, light-dark, light-medium, oval, round, long, wide, neutral-undertoned, cool-undertoned, warm-undertoned, faces. And how could I forget the various hair lengths, porosities, densities, from waves to curls to coils, locs to dreads, twist-outs and braids, 2abc, 3abc, 4abc, the whole alphabet is beautiful not just one letter or word. You are beautiful, but you won’t understand my words until you believe yourself to be beautiful too.
My advice for your sister: look in the mirror not at photographs of others. Look at yourself, appreciate your smile, love your laugh, trace the curve of your ear or touch the tip of your nose. Appreciate all the little lines on your face because those are yours. They are yours… Have you ever considered how amazing that is, that you own the features on your face and no one else. Features you may even share with your sisters, your mother, your aunts, your cousins. Don’t you think they’re beautiful? You share that with them.
Toni Morrison’s character Sethe in her novel Beloved is told, “You your best thing, Sethe. You are.” While Toni Morrison herself told all of us that “The question was, who is the Beloved? Who is the person, who lives inside us, that is the one you can trust, who is the best thing that you are?” You will find it one day, I can promise you that.
My advice for the rest of us: notice the intense affect that racism, hate, eurocentricity, and the white gaze have on even the smallest of us and take action to stop it. Inform others, speak out, educate yourself, stand up for others, but even more courageously stand against those structures of hate.
Here are some book/ author suggestions I think you guys may like:
Toni Morrison – The Bluest Eye (all of her books are amazing, but The Bluest Eye is extremely pertinent here)
Ntozake Shange – For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide / When the Rainbow is Enuf
Zora Neale Hurston – I Love Myself When I’m Laughing
Alice Walker – The Color Purple
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – Americanah
Maya Angelou- I Know Why the Caged Bird SingsVideos you might enjoy:
https://youtu.be/V73gnxcyzIQ
https://youtu.be/kNw8V_Fkw28Hope you guys are holding up okay! Stay safe, sending all my love!!
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Ingrid Edmondson says:
Greetings
I am so sorry that U had to witness such horrible ABUSE. Unfortunately we people of COLOR are still being discriminated by the color of our skin.
I too have experience racism when I left my home to relocate to the Outer Banks to be a Sign language Interpreter for a little boy. I did not know that the boy was white nor did I ever think I was going to be the ONLY BLACK WOMAN WORKING in that Elementary school…. Just like u I was DISRESPECT by the whole administration believe or not… I was very SHOCK to say the least.
I was not unhappy before I went there. I thought it was going to be a great experience in my career as a Sign language Interpreter. IT WAS NOT!!!
I dont have any answers to LIGHTEN the hurt u felt
I know that hurt because I have felt it many times myself…. White people are a race of people who have LOSTED there way when it comes to Humanity because their fore parents have made them think they are the superior one and that is why those young people felt it was ok…. to ABUSE u ….. I’m here to tell you that BEHAVIOR is truly reflection on their Parents….. Hold your head high
Let this be an experience u will never forget but DO NOT LET IT HOLD U BACK FROM ANYTHING YOUR HEART’S DESIRE…. ALWAYS REMEMBER BLACK PEOPLE HAVE DIED FOR U, BUILT THIS NATION FOR U AND ME…. STAND TALL MY SISTER RISE UP AND KNOW YOUR HISTORY SO NO ONE NO ONE AGAIN WILL MAKE U ,SISTER FEEL LESS THEN WHO U ARE…. U R BLACK AND BEAUTIFUL LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE…. PEACE ,LOVE AND LIGHT…. HOLD YOUR head hight stay STRONG…
WITH OUT NO STRUGGLE WILL NOT CAN NOT BE PROGRES
STAY STRONG
Leila,
Thank you for your piece – your writing is so powerful. There is so much work that we white people need to do to dismantle racism. Your writing helps me understand more and more about how important that is, and why. To you and your sister: keep writing and keep dancing. It is a gift to us all.
Eleanor